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dennys:

and-down-we-go:

So last night a bunch of my friends and I went to Denny’s for some breakfast-for-dinner and I couldn’t decide on what I wanted, so I told the waiter “I want a lot of eggs.”

"How many eggs do you want?"
"How many can I get?"
"I mean if you get a Make Your Own Slam you can get up to 8.."
"I would like a questionable amount of eggs, please. Scrambled, so that I don’t know how many there are."

And boy did he deliver.

The manager came out to present the eggs (because, as our waiter joked, this plate of eggs was too much of a health risk for anyone but the manager to be liable for serving me), and said “….who’s responsible for this?”

I started crying out of excitement/joy/fear (no lie. it was embarrassing)

Anyway, this heavenly plate of eggs filled the entire plate and was about an inch deep (there were 2 layers of eggs in it! with cheese in the middle!!)

The waiter kept joking “You’re not getting a box. You have to finish it! You chose this!” I tipped him 100% out of pure shame (plus he was a rad dude).

Thank you Denny’s. Thank you.

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT EGG ATTITUDE TO HAVE.

I think you mean an “eggcellent” attitude

“The closer he looks at the child, the less he sees … The more he looks at it, there’s nothing there. He fears that the more you look at him the less you see. There isn’t anything there.” - John Hughes

codenamecctproject:

Ramona Flowers

codenamecctproject:

Ramona Flowers

  • me: i'll do it at 7PM
  • time: 7:02PM
  • me: oops too late gotta wait till 8 now

rapewhistled:

she said spank me and i slapped her with the word of the lord

hustings:

when u hear someone good looking likes your crush

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pornstarch:

i hate when ur boob starts falling out of ur bra like excuse me ma’am please return to your assigned seat

phukers:

when u see someone hot at the gym

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